


The Bus

by Fedora Of Adorableness (TheTimelessChild0)



Category: White Collar
Genre: Episode: s01e10 Vital Signs references, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Talking About Peeing, references to wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:33:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25996069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimelessChild0/pseuds/Fedora%20Of%20Adorableness
Summary: Neal has a complicated relationship with buses. As in, he wet himself on one once, and now he's petrified of them.
Relationships: Peter Burke & Neal Caffrey
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13
Collections: WC²





	The Bus

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Accidents Happen](https://archiveofourown.org/works/139553) by [lionessvalenti](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti). 



> I read this story, and just _had_ to write a follow up about Neal's old memory. Enjoy!

There had been plenty of times when Neal and Peter had travelled outside of his radius for a case. Not to mention the time he went to Peter’s house for the first time. _Technically_ that was for a case. 

This would be the first time they left NYC, to travel through the _State_ of New York. 

It was a standard mission. The task was to investigate a company with headquarters in White Plains, Albany and Buffalo. Since it was within the state, and the Bureau needed Caffrey, the Marshals cleared it. In part due to the whole Deckard debacle. They had to keep their heads down and not make a fuss about the Feds. 

* * *

Neal made sure to go to the restroom before the journey. He assumed it was going to be a long ride in a car, and didn’t fancy making Peter stop. An even line on his tracking data would reassure the higher-ups. 

He _assumed_ it would be a car, because how else would they travel? Of course, there was _one_ alternative. But Caffrey refused to even _consider_ it. 

He was never getting inside one of _those_ ever again. 

Yes, he understood it was an irrational fear. Yes, he knew it was 25 years ago. 

But still, when he walked out the subway with Peter, the first words out of his mouth were: 

“Are we taking _another_ train? We’ve already switched train lines like five times. Wouldn’t it be easier just to drive here?” he asked, exhausted.

“There are no good parking spots next to the Greyhound station,” Burke explained. 

“The Grey...” Neal didn’t understand why he was mentioning a dog breed. Then he remembered. Greyhound. As in Greyhound _bus._

“Woah, wait, we’re taking the bus?!”

“Faster than a train,” Peter smiled. 

“And slower than a car. I figured you’d love to test the all-wheel drive,” Neal reminded him. 

“With you fiddling with the radio for 2 and a half hours? No. Besides, gas is too expensive for going from city to city,” 

Caffrey nodded, and followed Peter through Port Authority.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

They were only halfway through the terminal when the Suit noticed his friend was walking ridiculously slowly. 

“Mind picking up the pace?” he beckoned. 

Neal obliged, marching forward. Peter stopped him again. 

“What’s with you? You’re acting like a kid before a dentist appointment,” 

“I’d rather be at the dentist than take the bus,” Neal snarked. 

Burke frowned in concern. He made a note of his consultant’s expression. It was filled with blind panic. 

“There are way too many people, too much noise, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on all the beautiful nature we’ll drive past,” he explained.

“I’d think you’d thrive in a crowd, blending in,” Peter noted.

“When it _moves_ , not when it stands still,” Caffrey huffed.

“I’m an FBI agent. They’ll leave you alone,” he assured Neal. 

The con man gave a disbelieving snort, covering it up with a cough. 

Peter knew, there was _more_ to the story than all the strangers.

“Well, cowboy up, the seats are soft, you’ll doze right off,” the Suit nudged him forward.

* * *

Before entering the bus, Neal popped into the bathroom. He was not taking any risks. 

Only this time, he did not exit looking relieved. Peter saw him breathing tensely, and checking his watch. 

“There’s a bathroom on board,” he informed Caffrey, who relaxed his shoulders but still looked uneasy. 

* * * * *

Neal continued to check his watch and look back at the bathroom. 

Eventually, the bus passed a small collection of houses, and Neal looked away, shivering.

Peter assumed he was being reminded of something, and scooted closer. but every time he did so, Caffrey flinched away. At one point he even looked between them, making sure there was a large enough gap. 

“Alright, that’s enough of that. Neal, I’m your friend. Tell me: what’s wrong with the bus?” he asked, putting an arm around the younger man. 

Neal stiffened, but accepted the comfort. 

“I just don’t like buses,” 

“Remind you of prison?” Peter guessed.

Caffrey looked at him as if he’d grown a second head. 

“The bus you took to prison,” Burke elaborated.

“That wasn’t a bus. That was a very long, very _bumpy_ _van_ ,” Neal corrected.

That is what he called it. He didn’t use that nomenclature when he was riding in it. Thankfully, back then, Peter had asked if he had to _go_ before helping him inside. He didn’t, _really_ , but went anyway. Which paid off when he saw the vehicle taking him to his new home.

“Well, then what is it? You’re shaking like a leaf, you keep ogling at the bathroom even though you went _less_ than an hour ago, and don’t want me sitting next to you,” Peter pointed out.

“I do...just not so close,” he amended.

“It’s just...the last time I was in a bus...something _happened_ . Something I do _not_ want happening again,”

“What?” Burke prodded further. 

Neal put his hat on and leaned back, pretending to sleep.

“Listen, I just want to know what’s shaking you up about this mode of travel. Obsessing over time and..” Peter fell silent.

He remembered what else Neal was paying an unusual amount of attention to. _The bathroom_. He was checking that it was unoccupied, even though he wouldn’t need it for a while. 

“You peed your pants?” he guessed. Those four words woke the con man _right up_. Caffrey’s eyes widened, and he gestured frantically for Peter to zip it, before someone misunderstood. 

Neal closed his eyes and blushed with regret. He nodded curtly.

Peter was less surprised at being right, than he was at Caffrey’s view of this fact. No matter when it happened, he was sure the level of humiliation was unwarranted.

“That’s why you felt so bad about that stakeout,” he realised.

Neal raised his eyebrows, as if the reaction had been completely sensible.

“It was just an _accident_ , Neal,” Peter assured him. Neal winced at the word used.

“Adults aren’t supposed to have accidents,” he huffed bitterly.

“Who told you that?” Burke wanted to know. It sounded ridiculous.

“Common sense. I’m a grown man. I should be able to keep my damn pants dry,” he spat. 

“Yes, that is how it is, except when you can’t. Sometimes things happen, get in the way, it becomes too late. It can and _does_ happen to grown-ups,” Peter stressed. 

“What about you?” Neal countered. He hadn’t forgotten that Burke said he hadn’t experienced this particular _mistake_.

“I’ve been lucky. Don’t take that to heart. I know I set a good example for a lot of things, but don’t beat yourself up over _this_ ,” he implored. 

“People are different; trust me, you’re not the only one,” 

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” Neal grinned. 

“It’s obvious?” Burke raised a surprised eyebrow.

“Of course, Peter. There are 7 billion people in the world, of course, I’m not alone in...that,” he waved his hand awkwardly. “However, there is a difference between something being _statistically_ common,” 

“And being _commonplace_ ,” Peter understood. “Well, I think it _is_. People just don’t talk about it,”

“Because it’s embarrassing?” Caffrey argued.

“More than it _should_ be. When you gotta go, you gotta go. It beats a bladder infection,” 

“Dr Powell would agree with you completely,” 

Both laughed, half-hugging each other. 

* * *

Neal had his arms crossed, but seemed somewhat less afraid. 

Agent Burke was still concerned, though. 

“Want to tell me how it happened?” he requested politely. 

“ _Nope_!” Neal shot him down instantly. 

“Come on, you’re clearly drawing a comparison between this and that. I just see a normal bus ride, I can’t point out the differences, without knowing the similarities,” Peter pressed kindly.

Caffrey sighed. 

“I didn’t tell anyone about that other time, I won’t tell anyone about this. Swear to the Bureau,” he promised, pointing at his badge and taking Neal’s hand.

Neal smirked at his choice of oath. 

“Alright. I was 7, and my class had gone on a field trip,” he began.

“We were about to go back to school and we were lining up to enter the bus. This was the point where I could have turned to the teacher and said that I needed to go to the bathroom. But I didn’t. I _barely_ needed to, and all my classmates were there; I got it into my head that they would laugh at me, ‘cause I should’ve gone already. I don’t know when that might’ve been,” he shrugged. “I was probably wrong, but either way, I kept quiet. I figured the drive wouldn’t be that long, because it had felt so fast the first time around. Of course, back then we were all excited for the museum,” 

“Let me guess, history?” Peter guessed. Neal would be excited for that, no doubt. 

“No, natural history actually. They had this exhibit of these absolutely gorgeous leaves with lines...” he cleared his throat, stopping the tangent in its tracks.

“Anyway, I thought I could _hold it_ . But of course, because you should never trust a child’s sense of time, the ride took forever. I was wriggling, holding myself, pretty sure the teacher knew the problem _way_ before I told her,” he laughed.

“I felt like all eyes were on me, even though I bet someone was reading a comic book or whatever. Just one kid looking in my direction made me feel like such an idiot _baby_ ,”

Burke scoffed, disagreeing with that term entirely. 

“You weren’t a baby. You were a kid. A pretty big kid, forming conspiracies at that age,” he reasoned.

Neal raised an eyebrow, appreciating the compliment. 

“She told the driver to pull over, but that didn’t happen fast enough. Just as it started to hurt...it stopped. I couldn’t keep it in a second longer,” he retold. 

“I’ll never forget the feeling, of the warm pee flowing through my pants and into my socks. Like I was wearing a bathing suit. Liquid dripping off of my feet. But not water from the pool. Urine from my bladder. There was a kid sat next to me; Greg. It got on him too. And he immediately alerted the _whole bus_ to the fact that I was wetting myself,” he smiled, a hint of annoyance at Greg seeping through.

“Shouting that I was peeing and he wanted to move, that it was _disgusting_ ,” 

Peter’s eyes crinkled in sympathy. Most people knew not to take comments like that to heart, but he knew his consultant was a very sensitive man. He probably felt marked as a pants-wetter for eternity.

“I think he’s the idiot in this story. Idiot asshole,” Burke commented.

Neal snorted in amusement. He looked down, wondering whether to expect tears at the touching words. 

“Well, he _was_ only 7,” he relented.

“So were you, Neal. All kids wet their pants in elementary school. Not just first grade” Peter reminded him.

“Oh, now we have something in common?” Neal smirked, suddenly interested in his handler’s life experience.

“Not exactly. Mine was in third grade,” he smiled warmly at the CI.

“I was just so absorbed in my classwork. I really wanted to finish my math problem. I guess you could call it a _miscalculation_ ,” 

“Thanks, Peter. That helps a lot,” Neal said sincerely.

“Good. Now, look around you. There’s no Greg, no one’s staring, and the bathroom is right there; you can go pee anytime you want,” Peter stated.

“I think I’m good for now. And I know that I’ll be fine when that _changes_ ,” Caffrey smiled, resting his hands on his lap, observing the approaching nature outside. 

“That chortle you did, when I promised to keep people from bothering you, as in, about the fact you’re an ex-con; least, that’s what I meant at the time...you didn’t believe me because you were comparing me to the teacher, right?” Burke guessed. 

Neal nodded simply. 

“I get it. I’ve _been_ teaching you, you look up to me. The last person to fit that bill betrayed the protection they were _supposed_ to give you. I won’t let you down, Neal. You can trust _me_. I care about you more than that ridiculous woman ever did,” he assured him. 

“I know. It wasn’t her job. And it isn’t your job. Muchos gracias,” Caffrey thanked him again. 

“De rien,” Peter shot back, rolling the r in flawless French, patting Neal on the back of his head. 

Neal tipped his imaginary hat in approval, brushing his hair back in place.

When the con man did need to go, all he had to do was point his thumb, and Peter let him out right away. And he was back right away, because he went at the first signal from his body. 

He decided that he really _liked_ buses. At least, those with a bathroom built-in. 

The End.


End file.
